


Are You Serious?

by Squibeetos



Series: Elysian [3]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Adult Dipper Pines, Aged-Up Character(s), Bill Cipher/Dipper Pines Fluff, BillDip, Cute, Declarations Of Love, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fluff to go all around, Fluff without Plot, Fluffy, Fuck that's literally the whole story, Gay, Grown up dipper pines, Human Bill Cipher, Humor, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Romace, Romantic Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Why Did I Write This?, idk tbh, sorta crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-05
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-11-23 18:18:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11407920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squibeetos/pseuds/Squibeetos
Summary: Bill gets Dipper a gift, Dipper is not amused (okay maybe a little).





	Are You Serious?

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this because I was feeling sad and nostalgic, so instead of writing depressing ass shit I decided to have opposite day and write something that'll lift my spirits, hopefully it'll do the same to you.

"You're serious."

"Indeed, my Pine Tree."

"... Bill what the fuck is wrong with you."

"Everything, really."

"But why."

"Why not?"

This is usually how a typical conversation goes between Dipper and his demon boyfriend. It's exhausting trying to talk normally to any demon, Dipper would know that by heart.

"So let me get this straight and try to have the same stupid mindset as you," Dipper said dryly.

"Hey!"

Dipper ignored him. "You bought me an infinite supply of Doritos just because I said I liked them?"

"Yes. But seriously, Pine Tree, you're the one who likes a -former- dorito, so you can have infinite of me all you want ~"

Dipper had to face palm. Hard. He left a red mark on his face which Bill tried to pat but ended up being batted away unremorsefully.

"Shut up, stupid dorito."

"Hah!" Bill laughed, "by the end of the night you won't be wanting me to shut up, I know you love it when I'm vocal-"

Yes, Dipper did punch Bill but only because he wouldn't just shut up.

"I'm leaving you forever goodbye," Dipper announced dramatically, sarcastically, even as he stifled laughter, and turned to walk back in the house. Bill, who had already quickly recovered from the punch (he thought that was hilarious, both the pain and the actions involving said pain), tackled his human to the ground, the kid letting out an 'oof' as he landed with his stupidly annoying (he loved him so such though) demon on top of him. He tried to buck him off but only made Bill grin lecherously and chuckle almost darkly.

"Get _off_ , Bill, fuck," Dipper grunted, his face pressed to the wood deck beneath him. He was sure Bill could feel how annoyed he was. Or maybe he could feel his underlying humor. Either way, he needed the lard (hardly so, although, not all all, he was very fit) off of him.

"Nope! Not gonna happen, dear Pine Tree! Not until you accept my offer for the snacks!" Bill sang joyously.

Dipper growled, bucking again, making his boyfriend chuckle. "If you accept I'll give you something you want~... Something you need, him," Bill hummed seductively next to the kid's ear, brushing a hand slowly, enticingly down Dipper back. He let out an involuntary shiver. He sure was annoyed but damn, Bill is always so enticing and well... Seductive. _God_ , he loves his demon.

He did come to his senses, though, albeit slowly, which he did find himself slightly disappointed in himself for. He should have more control than that.

"No way! Bill, you can't _bribe_ me with sex," Dipper said stuffily. He squirmed a but more, now realizing his fate might be compromised.

"You sure bet your lovely flesh prison I can, Dipper!" Said the now very cocky demon. (Bill thought Dipper's flesh prison was _very_ lovely.)

Dipper felt his whole body flush, all the way down from his toes all the way up to his head. Bill using his name like that really turned him on more than he would like to admit. He cleared his throat. "No, Bill. I can't. The gesture is nice but _really_? A lifetime supply?" He was running out of arguments, and Bill knew that.

Bill laughed. "Yup! Whenever you want a bag of those 'Doritos' I just snap my fingers and, whoo! A fresh snack just for you! Whaddya say Pine Tree?"

Dipper sighed. "Please don't tell me you're teleporting it from a grocery store. That's stealing."

Bill was quiet and Dipper knew he got him. He revelled in his newfound victory while it lasted. A moment later, he felt Bill get off of him. He shot up and gave a glare to his demon, dusting himself off. Bill still looked smug.

"What're you all happy about," Dipper grumbled, wiping off charcoal from his chin with his hand.

"Hm," Bill smirked, leaninng on an imaginary table in thin air. "You got me. I guess you won. But...."

Dipper eyes him suspiciously. "'But' what?"

The demon just winked and teleported them both to Dipper's bedroom, specifically onto Dipper's bed. They bounced slightly and it took a moment for Dipper to regain his equilibrium. When he did, Bill loomed over him, eyeing him with a small smile. "I love you," Bill blurted uncharacteristically.

That caught Dipper by surprise at first but he did grin happily and kiss his demon briefly. "I love you too, dork." Bill huffed (he did nuzzle Dipper's neck, though, which Dipper thought was cute).

"So," Bill said after a few seconds of silence. He pulled up to look into Dipper's eyes and to give him a grin, "want to have sex?"

Dipper found he couldn't refuse, but did sorta throw Bill off the bed for being so blunt.

They ended up having sex on the floor.

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly this idea came out of nowhere. I hope you enjoyed! I love feedback, too ;)


End file.
